30 + funniest kapil Sharma Quotes in Hindi and English 2016

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30 + funniest kapil Sharma Quotes in Hindi

If you're fighting Monday blues this morning, these Kapil Sharma jokes will make your day!
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kapil Sharma Quotes in Hindi
kapil Sharma Quotes in Hindi

20 + funniest kapil Sharma Quotes in Hindi

1) This fact of Zebra that we never knew.
duniya ka sabse purana janwar konsa hai Guthi ansewer that "ZEBRA. kyunki woh blacke and white hota hai.

2) This man who came to Kapil’s show uninvited.
 kapil : kya kerty ho ap?
 man   : sir meri factory hai.
 kapil : aap kyu aye ho?
 man :   sir apka show dekhny aya hun.
 kapil :  hum aye hain kabhi apki factory dekhny? apna kaam dekhty nahi doosro ke ghar main ghus aty hai dekhny.

3) This line which stuns Juhi Chawla as well.

 juhi : is line ko english main translate karo , "usny apna kaam kiya aur karta hi gya"
 kapil : " He done his work nad done dana dan done dana dan"

4) This technique of taking revenge with a doctor.

 kapil: operation main agar mujy kuch ho gya to doctor se shadi ker lena.
 his wife : kyun??
 kapil : Badla leny ka yahi ek tareeka hai.

5) This Kid Who Is Born At Home.
 Dadi: Bittu!! mubarak ho tum baap ban gaye ho! Hamaray ghar ladka paida hua hai.
 Kapil: Wha ji Wah !! kya technology hai! Biwi meri hospital main hai or bacha ghar peda ho gya hy!!

6) The place where snakes do their recharge.

 Guest : Dekh teri biwi ko saanp kat raha hy ! kuch to karo.
 kapil: Abey wo kaat nahi rha uska zehar khatam ho gya hy woh recharge kewanay aya hy .

7) This discussion of the wives with Shahrukh Khan.

 Kapil: kesi hai tumhari biwi?
 shahrukh:swarg ki apsara jesi! aur tumhari biwi?
Kapil: meri to abhi zinda hai!

8) Why Daadi won’t be able to watch a 30 feet snake.

Dadi: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saanp dikhanay waly hain !per main nahi dekh paongi.
Mika Singh: Aisa kyun?
Kapil: Humara TV to 21 insh ka hai na.

9) How to take revenge with a friend.

 wife:apka dost galat larki se shadi kerny ja eaha hai app usy rokain gay nahi??
 Kapil: kyun ? main kyun rokun , usne mujhy roka tha kya?

10) This similarity between Gandhiji, Krishna & Jesus that we never knew about.

 Dadi: Gandhiji, Krishna & Jesus main kya similarity hai?
 Kapil: Arre , teeno ka birthday holiday pe aata hai!!

11) Technique To Live More/
  Sarvent: Umer lambi karny ka kpi tareeqa batao!
Kapil: Shadi ker lo !! is ky 2 faidy hain ....
Lambi zindagi ki khuwahish khatam ho jaygi aur....bachi zindagi lambi lagny lagay gi.

12) Afraid of Dark….Or Light?
 Lady: When i was young, mujhy andheray se dar lagta tha!
 Kapil : ab jab main apko dekhta hun , to mujhy light se dar lagta hai.!

13) Salman Khan worried about his marriage.

 Salman khan :meri shadi kab hogi?
 Kapil: Kabhi nahi . kyunki tumhari zindagi main sief khushiyan likhi hai!


14) Petrol price doesn’t make a difference to this man.
 Kapil: Petrol ke daam badh gaye hain..
 Sarvent: Kya fark parta hai. main to 100 rupay ka patrol dalwata tha or abhi bhi utne ka hi dalwata hun...

15) Why did you come into my life ?
  Wife: Mera IQ bohat acha hai.
 Kapil: IQ ka full form ata hai?
 Wife: intelligent Question!
 Kapil: tum meri life main IQ? hahahahah

16) Tight Security.
 Kapil: main apny watchman se pocha duty ky time sharaab kyu pee rahy ho? wo bola "kyunki security tight honi chahiye!"

17) He is a PHD.
 Kapil: Bary din Bad aye ho . kya ker rahy ho ajjkal?
 Lacha: PHD
 Kapil: Wah, Doctor?
 Lacha: Nahi, Pizza Hom Delivery.

18) The moment when a new sandal cannot be worn.

 Kapil: Doctor ne kaha k dadi ki dono legs katni pary gi.
 Mika singh: Sun ker Bohat Bura laga.
 Kapil: mujhy bhi ! kal hi unko nai chappal dilai thi!

19) Definition of Escalator
 Blindman: Escalator kya hota hai?
 Kapil: Main Tehra raha, zameen chalny lagi....


20) Wife Is Cute When She Is Mute.
 Kapi:Wife Is Cute When She Is Mute
 Wife : Hubby is honey when he dives money...

21) How To Cry When You Can’t Cry.

 Kapil: Meri biwi kal mar gayi! main roona chahta tha, per aansoo he nahi nikal rahy thy !  phir mery dost ne mujhy kaha " Imagine She's come back" kya btaon phir kya roya main.

10 Kapil Sharma Funny Shayari 2016


1) Kuch bhi karle eh haseena Kuch bhi karle eh haseena Nahi lagega tera chance, One, two, three , four Lungi dance, lungi dance.

2) Arz kiya hai Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya Karna Chahti hain Romance wah wah Siddhu ke peechhe baithi ladkiya Karna Chahti hain Romance But Sidhu is Only interested in Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance, Lungi Dance

3) Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya Aaj ussi ne facebook par block kar diya!

4) Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna, Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna, Basanti in kutton ke samne mat nachana..!!


5) Arzz kiya hai, Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu Maine toh nayi patta li tujhe kya milla ? Babaji ka thullu??

6) Shamaa bani to parwaane bane Jaam bana to maikhaane bane Kuchh to khaas baat hai bittu sharma teri family mein Warna, yun hi nahin shehar mein Pagalkhaane bane

7) Exams Ke Time Raat Bhar Padhte Hai Saare Students Bankar ULLU.. Exams Ke Time Raat Bhar Padhte Hai Saare Students Bankar ULLU.. Phir Bhi Results Mein Milta Hai Sirf BABA JI KA THULLU!!

8) Batsman ne balla ghumaya, ball nikli jaise teer Duniya mein aisa koi catch nahin Jo pakad na sake Gambhir

9) Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya Jo Kehte the mujhe, Dil mein tumhe lock kar diya Aaj ussi ne facebook par block kar diya!

10) Arzz kiya hai, Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu Maine toh nayi patta li tujhe kya milla ? Babaji ka thullu??


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